Every Cancer Secretly Wants to Parent You


Cancers do not make the best ride-or-die. They want to know where you’re going, when you’ll get there, will pack snacks for the drive, and will remind you to text your mother (or significant other) when you get there. That doesn’t mean they aren’t really awesome friends. They totally are! But you might have already clued in to their big secret if you’ve hung out with them for any amount of time:

Cancers secretly want to be your mom (or dad).

(Shhh—don’t tell them that you know.)

They’re the friends who are going to make sure you stay hydrated at the beach and will remind you to apply SPF on schedule. They’ll also remind you to stay hydrated on a night out drinking. Actually, when drinking with a Cancer buddy, expect them to know your limit before you do. They’ve got you covered with a handy designated driver lined up or an Uber/Lyft waiting outside. If you go over the limit, they’ll hold back your hair or pass you a bag while you experience instant regret, and then they’ll mix you up the best hangover cures to help you cope.

They’ll even make sure you get safely home and will call you in the morning (not too early, of course) to make sure you’re okay.

Maybe their attention can be a tad overwhelming at times, and maybe they can get a little oversensitive when you don’t text to let them know you made it home safe, but they have your best interests at heart. They’re always in your corner, and if you go through a breakup, they’ll be happy to trash talk your ex or commiserate with you — depending on what you want. Yes, they can be fierce when it comes to reminding you of your potential, but they’re equally fierce in your defense. Nobody’s going to talk bad about you when a Cancer is by your side!

At times, they can be crabby, and they almost certainly get jealous when someone calls you their best friend when they know they’re the real bestie. Actually, they can get jealous with their partners, too. They may worry too much, overreact, hold grudges, and experience mood swings that make you want to take cover, but Cancers are the most loyal of friends and have huge reserves of empathy that you can count on to see you through tough times.

Cancers come with a whole lot of love

And if sometimes they get a little overbearing with it, you might want to be gentle in asking for your space so that you don’t hurt their feelings. You could accidentally wound them forever or incur their wrath. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

If they seem a little high maintenance, know that having a Cancer want to parent you is actually a good thing. They want the best for everyone they love. Whether they are your friend, partner, or colleague, if you show them love and loyalty, you can count on them forever. They’ll almost certainly have a snack on hand, will remind you to drink more water and to wear clean underwear, and might even give you a gentle nudge to call your mom or get a good night’s sleep.

They may not make the best ride-or-die, not with all their questions, but they do make a pretty amazing friend. You know, as long as you don’t piss them off or betray their trust. Treat them well, and you’ll be glad to walk through life with a Cancer by your side.

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