The Deepest Secrets of the Zodiac Signs

Zodiac Sign Secrets
Zodiac Sign Secrets

Everyone has a secret — whether it’s one white lie or bodies buried in the basement. If Signs were people, these might be the secrets they keep!

Aries

There may or may not be a warrant out for Aries somewhere. I’m not talking about America’s Most Wanted or anything… although I wouldn’t be surprised. It could be for unpaid parking tickets or for a bar fight, but don’t be surprised if there’s a shadowy past where dark deeds have been buried.

Taurus

You can almost guarantee that Taurus is an epic level hoarder and/or has a bunker on their property filled with food for the zombie apocalypse. Or, you know, for those random cravings.

Gemini

If there’s any Zodiac Sign living a double life, it’s Gem. A secret family. Another career. Even a hidden room cleverly concealed in their home library. Be sure that if there is a secret, it’s a big one. You could stumble across a Batmobile, a hidden treasure, or a stash of aliases. You just never know with Gem.

Cancer

Cancer might just run a not-exactly-legal animal shelter behind the scenes. You know, the no-kill kind where all the animals can stay until they find forever homes. Because everyone needs that promise of forever, you know?

Leo

Don’t be surprised if Leo has film credits to their name. Could be adult film, but it still counts. Their innate theatrical aptitude could have them secretly jonesing for the limelight… or at least a role as an extra. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve practiced their Emmy, Tony, Grammy, and Oscar award speeches…. You know, just in case.

Virgo

Virgos could be actual, you know, virgins. They won’t admit it though. And don’t be surprised if they’ve told a ton of white lies. Their people-pleasing nature could have them being everything to everyone, even if they’ve had to fudge a little on the truth. That restaurant you always go to with them? They hate it, nothing on the menu is good, and they just wanted you to like them. If you suss out this secret, it might be a good idea to let this picky eater choose the best place to go.

Libra

You know that rumor that got started that led to all kinds of drama? Don’t be surprised if Libra is the drama llama behind it all. They might have good intentions — or maybe not — in the beginning, but they couldn’t resist serving up the juicy dish without a thought to the consequences. The fallout wasn’t what they expected, so they’ll likely never reveal they started it all.

Scorpio

You know the local haunted house in town? Don’t be surprised if Scorpio is behind some of the legend and lore surrounding it. Scorpio also probably performs seances on the hush-hush and will read your cards on break if you ask nicely.

Sagittarius

Saggy might have left behind a love child on their many adventures. It’s a possibility. More likely, they have a secret cabin or cool treehouse they can disappear to when they feel burdened by life. They’ll be unlikely to tell you about it because you might want to be invited, and that’s just not happening.

Capricorn

Cap may have killed a man, but you’d have to prove it first. Assuming you could find the body. Assuming you could break their airtight alibi. Of course, it’s more likely that Cap forgot to dust the baseboards or didn’t include one item on their income taxes, but it’d be more interesting to think they killed a man.

Aquarius

Aquarius has almost definitely been arrested at some point or another. Probably for a peaceful protest, but don’t expect them to put it on a resume. Their long history of trying to save dolphins and whales, end world hunger, and generally make humans behave better could definitely have had them at odds with the powers that be.

Pisces

Pisces likely has a secret career as an artist. Whether it’s interpretive dance, sculpture, or abstract paintings, this emotional and intuitive sign may be harboring a gallery’s worth of art from the public view.

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