It’s that time of year again! The lights, trees, and bright holiday decorations are already filling stores, decorating downtown sidewalks, and popping up in ads to remind us that the season of crass commercialism, I mean… of high anxiety… I mean, of GIVING. Yes, giving. The season of giving is upon us!
It’s time to haul out our holiday lists and decide what to get who. It can be a bit of a muddle, particularly when our crazy schedules barely give us a second to take a breath. Save yourself a little time this year, and use this cheat sheet for getting gifts for each of the sun signs in your life.
Aries
If anger management courses don’t seem to say “Happy Holidays” to you, consider a sneakier gift for self-starting but aggressive Aries. Kick boxing classes or a similar gift certificate could slap a smile on Aries’ face at the thought of time spent happily kicking ass, but you could also tap into their childlike sense of wonder with something as simple as a view finder or virtual reality experience. Other experience gifts could include bungee jumping, sky diving, or a season pass to a theme park with crazy awesome rollercoasters. Need to go inexpensive? As long as it’s an active gift, you’ll be sure to make an Aries’ holiday brighter.
Taurus
You can’t go wrong with jewelry for Taurus, the more bling the better. Taco-themed presents also wouldn’t be amiss (or just show up with a huge bag of tacos and hand them over). Any food-themed gifts will probably be a hit, and it couldn’t hurt to cook dinner for them, too, as an added holiday bonus.
Gemini
Games are sure to delight quick-witted Gem. A round of “What Do You Meme?” or a big ass box of Giant Jenga could have Gems facing off with family and friends with glee. Cards Against Humanity? Always a favorite. Or, just throw a game-themed party for them and they will be happy. Have fun matching your wits with theirs.
Cancer
A weighted blanket might do the trick with emotional Cancer. Anything cozy and cuddly could also hit the spot. Think blankets, scarves, and soft sweaters that’ll soothe their soul and provide a sense of closeness.
Leo
Maybe getting Leo a tiara might be a bit over the top, but showering them with gifts befitting their royal attitude couldn’t hurt anything but your wallet. Spa gift certificates could show them you think they deserve the royal treatment.
Virgo
Lotion, body wash, and bath accessories could warm the heart of Virgo with their joy of all things clean. A gift certificate for a maid service to pitch in with housework could also have them rubbing their hands in glee… after they’ve hand-sanitized them from all the holiday hand-shaking and hugs.
Libra
Libra can be easy to please if you’ve got a mind for romance. A hand-written letter or poem slipped into a stocking, a copy of Pride & Prejudice or the latest juicy romance, a romcom you know they loved… if the gift says warm, fuzzy, and super duper romantic, you’ll be on the right track!
Scorpio
Think good quality dark chocolate, a great bottle of wine (or wine subscription service) for someone who drinks, or the latest Netflix serial killer special on DVD, and you’re good to go on Scorpio. Those fuzzy handcuffs? Depends on how close you are. *wink wink*
Sagittarius
Sagittarius is size one-plane-ticket. Travel gifts could hit the spot for Saggy, or you could lean toward gift certificates for adventures. Think outside the box: an obstacle course race for fitness savvy Sags, sky diving for the thrill-seekers, a locked room mystery ticket for the puzzle-solver. Need to go cheap? Saggy just wants an adventure, and travel, spirituality or philosophy books could be a win. Give them that, and you’ll enjoy the pics they take later showing you what an awesome time they had.
Capricorn
If you need a present for the Capricorn in your life, look no further than the stationary aisle where you’re sure to find tons of nifty planners just waiting for them to scribble their plot for world domination— I mean, um, life goals in. A little succulent plant could also make a pleasant gift, as they require minimal care (a fact that will make Cap’s practical heart happy), cannot sometimes double for first aid (double the usefulness with an aloe plant), and also positively contribute to their home or office environment (a little scientific boost to health and mood could make Cap feel like they’ve won big with this gift).
Aquarius
The latest book on Area 51 or conspiracy theories could catch the attention, and gratitude, of Aquarius this holiday season. George Orwell’s 1984 or Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale (and its latest follow-up, The Testaments) could make a book-loving Aquarius grin with glee.
Pisces
Corkscrews, wine, beer, a hookah, or a pub crawl gift card could all make Pisces swoon… but that could just be from the alcohol they’ve already consumed. Maybe get them some water just in case. For Pisces who don’t drink? Anything with dreamy, fantasy themes or something from their favorite fandom will be a hit.
These gift ideas are sure to please all the people who made your list, but the other option is going ahead and pissing off everyone now so that you don’t have to give a gift at all. It could make the holidays a little lonely… but introverts might really dig the extra personal space, and penny pinchers will be happy at the added savings. Of course, that’s not really the true holiday spirit now, is it? So, get out your hastily scribbled lists and match the sun signs to a thoughtful and appropriate holiday gift for a holly jolly holiday season.
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