Life Advice Brought to You by Each Zodiac Sign

Life Advice
Life Advice

If you ask each sign what you should do in a given situation, expect 12 wildly diverse answers. Some of them might offer wise advice sure to help you out in a pinch while others might just offer thoughts and prayers or give you advice that could be questionable at best. Proceed with caution, but don’t be surprised if this is some of the life advice you get from each sign.

Aries:

If you can’t keep up, stay the hell out of the fast lane. And keep the self-checkout to 10 items or less. Let’s keep it moving, people.

Taurus:

Your life will be better with tacos. Every day. However much you want, however much it costs. Because, tacos.

Gemini:

Have it all, do it all. Who says you have to choose? Work hard, play hard: that’s my motto!

Cancer:

Always wear clean underwear, make sure you drink enough water, and text your mom (or bestie or partner) when you get where you’re going. Love you!

Leo:

When life gets tough, adjust your crown and keep moving forward. Don’t lower your standards, and make sure that you love the one you’re with. When others in your life struggle, don’t forget to offer up some thoughts and prayers.

Virgo:

If you want it done right, just do it yourself. And while you’re doing everything anyway, buy the travel insurance, pack an extra change of clothes, and never, ever go anywhere without emergency supplies and a first aid kit. If all else fails, just overthink about it.

Libra:

A healthy work-life balance is essential. Make time for self-care. And find a partner who will love you forever. Seriously, do you want to die alone, mourned only by your cats and found days later by a neighbor?

Scorpio:

Burn the bridges. Seriously, burn them to the ground. Then, leave. Go to the store and buy marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate. Go back to the fire. Find a stick and maybe hit someone with it a couple of times. Then roast some marshmallows over the burning bridge and enjoy some s’mores without a care in the world.

Sagittarius:

Problems are for less important people with too little to keep them busy. If you’ve got a problem, delegate it to someone else to solve. Just keep moving and trust that someone else will fix it because you’ve got more important places to be and things to do.

Capricorn:

Follow your dreams no matter what. Use a planner, organizer, and to-do lists to keep on top of your goals. Don’t let anyone get in your way or tell you that you can’t have what you want. Turn those obstacles into opportunities, and keep working toward the life you’ve always dreamed of living. Don’t quit. If someone falls down in front of you, climb over them and keep going until you reach your goals.

Aquarius:

Avoid drama, and try to keep things simple. Anyone who doesn’t like it can die mad about it. Keep it casual, and avoid letting anyone or anything tie you down.

Pisces:

Problems? What problems? I don’t see any problems. But look! There’s some sand. Just going to stick my head in it for a minute until you stop talking about problems. I can’t hear you, so everything is just fine.

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